College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
