Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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