How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
