Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
