dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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