There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Someone shattered a urinal.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
