Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
This is classic penis vs brain.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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