so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
porn star boner night. come get it.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
