I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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