last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
