i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
So squirting runs in the family.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
