he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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