i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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