I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize