Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize