Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I looked at my own cervix.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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