I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
