he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
