i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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