worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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