Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
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