I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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