: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
