So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize