Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
im six kinds of drunk right now
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
