Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
