you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
