Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
