six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
