So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
