Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
