i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
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