no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize