Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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