If i come over, it means nothing
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize