We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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