Non-Jews are for practice
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
