I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
