i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
