i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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