never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
