Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
