okay pat passed out under dana's car
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
