his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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