I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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