i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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