No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
