quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
