weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So much Jack, so little girl.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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