I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
