I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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