You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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