Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
