he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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