I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize