ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
