I accidentally burped into my bong.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
